When Silence Is No Longer Golden

Hi readers! One post later and it's just 3 months away from a supposedly another obligatory new year post! Not to worry - regular (LOL) readers would know that no news means good news when it comes to me writing blogposts. So yes, I'm in a much better place than wherever I was when I posted the previous post (I'm too lazy and tired to open and read it, and anyway I would forget what I wanted to write in this post if I do). So why do I write this post? It's just a mind-dump, really. There are a lot of things happening recently and many of them are fighting for air time in my mind. Let me just dump it now to satisfy them. 1. Completing PR formalities. Yeah, so I finally got my PR. Not sure if I ever shared about it in this blog before but I waited for 1.5 years for this. Actually I shouldn't really say I "wait" for this since I wasn't really hoping that I'd get it, in fact I don't care about it at all. But the approval came anyway so I should act...

Hi readers! A few months have passed since my last post again and this time I have a big announcement: I've finally broken my single streak! In case you readers are wondering, it's her  :D. It's indeed a great news, but the things that is in my mind right now is not so great... Not sure if it was obvious, but she's not actually based in the same country as me. She took the initiative to make the first visit, which I think made sense since she has more things to do here than me there. Also, I still wasn't sure about the relationship at the time so her visiting me instead of the other way round means less investment on my side Selfish, I know, but even ignoring that fact, she still has other benefits to gain from visiting me anyway, such as meeting up with friends and family, enjoying Asian food, etc. In any case, I really appreciate the sacrifice she made for me, so I reciprocated in kind and made sure she enjoyed her time here (and when we parted, she said she ...

Hi readers! You're in for a treat! Two consecutive posts in a month! And a quick closure for yet another of my failed dating attempt , with a twist! So today I went out with her in the afternoon. She kinda initiated the date - she told me about Lady M on our first date and how she'd bring me there some time, and today was the day. Well, nothing out of the ordinary for a while. We had a good time talking in Lady M and we decided to walk around Orchard Rd afterwards; initially to find clothes for her but on the way we stopped by Din Tai Fung since she seems to be very keen (missing her hometown's food) and I was a bit hungry for some real dinner (we were in Lady M for quite a while, and it sucked). Still had a great time in DTF. I liked the satisfied faces she made when she gulped on those 饺子 and 小笼包. She seemed to really miss her hometown (though she was just there 2 months ago before her internship started). Just before we left, she shared with me some details abou...

Hi readers! Somehow, I've managed to write at least a post every month so far this year! Not that I promise myself to do that, but it is still quite a feat, I think... So there's a few things going on in my head right now. Let's start with the good things first: so I just went to this singles' meet-up that a financial consultancy company organize. Now, before you guys say anything, I know it's weird. It's weird that a financial consultancy company organize a singles' meet-up. The probably weirder thing is that I actually go for the event. In all honesty I also don't know what came into me; I guess it was a combination of things; my financial advisor has been persistently inviting me to these events (that wasn't the first of such events) and I feel bad for always making excuses not to come. I also wanted to find another avenue to meet new people (ok, I really meant potential partners) since lately I haven't really had the energy to be more ac...

Hi readers! The 5th of the "Obligatory New Year Post" series! This time is resolutions for 2019, and reflections for 2018! Before I actually read past year's resolution and evaluate on how I did, I would like to say first that off-hand, 2018 is a rather bad year for me. People almost always say that the past year has been great for them despite ups and downs, yada2... But for me, 2018 all in all has not been that great. Despite the ups like my New York trip (which didn't turn out as awesome as I hoped it to be), reconnected with her (an opportunity which I totally blew), and kinda reconnected with her (not too bad, but then again, she went to the US so we don't have that many overlapping time for catch-ups, so..), 2018 has been underwhelming, to say the least. I didn't progress at all in terms of my self-discovery and making myself more comfortable with girls. I didn't manage to push myself to exercise regularly, didn't meditate regularly... Basica...

Hi readers! Long time readers might recognize this title, or any reader would notice the number "2" on the title, which indicates that it is the second of a series of posts with the same title! (Thanks, Capt) So yeah, basically I got a message from the same unexpected person as the that other post with the same title . Not sure what was the last time I chatted with her. Probably during our last meetup last year? This time round, again, she texted me to ask for help, but this time is for a speech she's writing. Before I even glanced at the script she sent me, I had already guessed that it must be her valedictorian speech, and I was right! Didn't expect any less from you, Cha! No pressure, though :p. But yeah anyway, very proud of her and I must say that I'm very surprised that she thought of me when she's looking for help with that. Honestly I don't get how people who ask me for help could even remember me; I always feel that I don't leave much of ...

Hi readers! It's been quite a while again since the last post (about a month). And just like I said in the comment of my last post, nothing really happens between us afterwards. It was probably my fault for not being there for her, but the difference in timezone at that time was really going to affect my work if we were to keep up our same routine when we were only 2-3 timezones away. Anyway, she's taken so that's probably for the best. Today's post wasn't supposed to be about her. It's about what I felt every time during this time of the year. What's with around this time of the year, you ask? It's the Vesak season, you uneducated moron (jk, I understand Buddhism doesn't get as much love in the "west" compared to other Asian religions. Funny that I used the word "west";  she was always so worked up every time I used the word to generalize cultures that are not "Asian"). Anyway, I digressed. Around this time of th...

Hi readers! It's been a while since the last post, hasn't it? How many times have I been using that opening line lol. Anyway, I just met up with her again. I wasn't sure why she still wanted to meet me; we planned to meet the week before because it's been quite a while since the last time we caught up, but she cancelled it last minute. We then caught up on one of the weekdays, but it was a rather short one because we had other things to do. I thought it was good enough, and thinking of calling it off; but I thought I guess it doesn't hurt to have another chat with her again and so we met again this afternoon. Turned out to be quite an eventful catch up. Finally after years of being mum about it, I shared the story that I've been trying hard to forget; the story about the girl I chased when I was in secondary school. I sieved through my old posts and shook (sorry for the lingo) that I have never actually written about her AT ALL. Am I really in denial so muc...

Hi readers! Another day another post! Better be grateful while it lasts! Went to temple today. No one there. No one as in no one that I'd be happy to see. No, I'm not talking about her in particular. Well, she is one of the people that I'd be happy to see there, but I was actually just talking about any friends I can talk to in general. In the afternoon I met up with another girl who is actually a match from another dating app. Not for a date, but more for dating advice so to speak lol. The story is that she has just started to try to commit more to another guy, and I respected her decision since she has already been seeing him for 6 months. It was quite an interesting chat with her (rather an awkward one too). Learned that I'm not actually the worst of dates. Some random dude out there actually asked someone out for a date at MacDonald's! So if you're a guy and you think you're bad at dating, don't worry, there's always the MacDonald's guy ...

Hi again reader(s?). So many posts the last few days, yeah? In the past I would say that this is a good thing but now... not so much. I met up with a friend, who, for some reason, I became close to out of a sudden. Probably due to situation. But anyway met up with her and chat up a bit. Okay, for the benefit of readers who don't know what I'm talking about, and for my future reference, I should write a little more about this girl. Met her in university. Nice girl, seemed to be able to connect with a lot of people easily. After a while, I realized she might be onto something. As in, something's not really right whenever I asked her about how "popular" she is. Today I found out that I was right; that she's been going through something similar to what I've been going through, but worse. Anyway, initially I wished to talk about dating stuff, since I felt that she has established implicitly (but strongly) that she sees me as just friend, or "bro...

The weekend has just passed and I don't feel refreshed at all.. I think this is the first weekend in a while when I don't really have any major happening. Last week there was Cakka , the previous week was my third date with her , I believe... And the previous week was the weekend when one of my housemate initiated a house outing for my sake. So I guess it has been at least a month since I first started trying to change . I tried to write down what I think so far, as well as how I feel about finally having the weekend free from it, and I can't seem to formulate it at all... Like when I tried to do it, they just don't flow. It feels that there is a contradiction somewhere that either I don't know, or I simply refuse to acknowledge. Is it because I don't like the change? My mind resisting the change? The weeks when the weekend was filled with activities and plans leave me tired at the end of the week. I'm not sure if I felt contented, but I *think* at the...

Hi readers! What a long week it has been... And finally I have the weekend all for myself!!! (for the most part...) Few updates. Believe it or not, the girl from this post is still willing to go out with me!! I have no idea why she'd want that... I feel that I have been a terrible date (or even by just-friend standard) so far... I was late for our first proper date (not a meetup just because she happens to be in the area) and again today... And I'm not sure how I did, but I think I still suck at keeping up with her as in the previous dates... :cry: :cry: A little trivia update, I was just interviewed by Transferwise people because they wanted to do a promotional video for their Asian market. Friendly bunch, but I was too preoccupied for the date in the evening, I didn't even get to ask the questions I wanted to ask, or even properly thank them for their awesome product :'((((( OR TO EVEN ACTUALLY DOCUMENT IT BY TAKING SELFIE OR WHATEVER. FUCK I'M GETTING ...

Hi readers! Did not expect me to write so soon after only 1 month? Actually it felt much longer than 1 month since the last time I wrote. So much has happened in the last 1 month compared to like the whole semester last semester that it felt like I shouldn't have done so much in such a short amount of time. About a week after I wrote the last post, I attended my graduation ceremony, spending time with family in Singapore and stuff. The following week I went back to Indonesia just so that I could celebrate my birthday with my family (after 3 years celebrating it somewhere else). Then I went to Singapore to start working. The first week of work was orientation, meeting a lot of people doing a lot of stuff I don't usually do previously (such as socializing and networking lol) and the following week I flew to the US for my second part of orientation! I was (still am) here for 2 weeks, and because of various reasons, I didn't attend some of the orientation classes and inste...

Hi readers! Firstly I apologize for abandoning this blog for 3 months! The first month was due to me being busy with schoolwork (it being my last semester as an undergrad and stuff). The next month was due to me being busy having fun traveling a bit (grad trip hype woots). And the last month was due to me being lazy... Sigh. It is now nearing the end of my very last long break before I start working for real. It seems that I didn't see the importance of making it *really* counts, despite it being my very last holiday as a student. I did fill it with some interesting things in the first few weeks as you can tell from the summary of my last 3 months in the first paragraph, however after I was back from those trips, I am back to the same old me, lazing about in my house doing nothing much but eat, sleep, and play. Did I do whatever I can to make it counts? Is it money that held me back from doing more? Or simply my laziness? Looking at my bank account right now, it seems ...

Another post on another month! Seems like either this is a very happening semester or I just have too much free time to post (it is the latter). I can't believe my journey in the university is coming to an end soon. And I am still the same inexperienced guy when it comes to girls, just like when I entered. What happened? Yesterday I watched a musical by the Indonesian community in NUS to support a friend. I did not even think to buy her a flower. After the performance, I had nothing much to say, not even requesting to take a picture with her and her gorgeous costume. In contrast, two years ago she performed in the same musical series and I took a picture with her, even gave her a friendly hug. What happened? At the same musical, I met her (the her from this post ). Actually, I met her a few hours before the event. We just spoke briefly, both parties awkwardly trying to end the conversation not awkwardly (even this whole sentence is awkward). After the event, we met aga...

Hi readers! It's just been a month since my last post! I am not actually neglecting my blog this year! Well, actually it is because I am having a chill semester this time, so I have quite a lot of time for myself. I must say I don't actually like it (!!!) because it makes me lazy and actually messes up my sleeping pattern even worse than when I was busy. This is because I ended up wasting my time playing games to fill in the spare time, and when you play games, you usually end up sleeping late because you are so into the game. Now, even when I tried to sleep earlier (1 or 2 am is considered "early" to me now), I would be unable to sleep because my mind is still very much awake, thinking about games and things that have been going on in my life, which is what I wanted to share now. As some of you readers might have known, I have been taking Chinese classes in my university, and it has become a habit of mine to put YouTube on autoplay playing Chinese songs whenever...

Hi readers! If you have not noticed (actually you definitely did), I changed the theme of my blog! This is actually a *confidential* template for the next generation of Blogger! Do let me know what you think in the comment if you have anything to say about the new templates, be it good or bad!! I believe there won't be a single comment on this post though, despite my call for comments just now but yeah at least I tried lol.  Oh and also I think some may find it irritating that the Contact Form is no longer there, because I know some people actually use it. Sorry, I really can't help it. The new template won't let me add that form. Well, to be honest, I have not really tried yet. So maybe you will see it again some time in the future (or maybe I revert back to the old one) Edit: managed to find where to add the gadgets. Now you need to click on the sidebar (the three lines on the top left of your screen) to see it. Too lazy to edit all my previous posts that refered to the C...

Hi readers! Seems like I've been trying to catch up with my lack of posts this year by posting in a window of 10 days before my last one (And contributing more to my lack of sleep)! But this is one of those midnight thoughts you have before you sleep, and I feel that it is too important to be let go and forgotten to the next day, so here goes. I thought I have written about this before, but apparently a quick search revealed that I didn't, but it seemed that I almost wrote about it but decided not to. To be exact, it was actually my first post ever . I remembered roughly what happened. I got into an argument with my friend, and he mentioned something that it was because I couldn't let go of my ego that I didn't manage to accomplish something. I knew he was right. However, I was probably in denial or something, I just got down and felt moody and stuff, just like what I wrote in the post. I didn't remember if I followed up after the realization, but probably not,...

Hi readers! (...tumbleweed...) It's almost the end of the year (not really, still 2 months away, but pretty close) and I realized that I have only posted for like 6 times this year!! Damn.. That's like less than once a month.. What happened to the promise to my friend that I am going to post at least once a month/week? (I can't even remember the promise anymore, nor can I find the post where I mentioned this... Can anyone of you readers help me find it lol) Anyway...

Hi readers! Not a very long hiatus between posts this time round, eh? Count yourselves lucky, because I decided to update my blog just to keep a journal of something that happened last week. Just to give you a background information, I flew to Tianjin, China last Wednesday and just returned today.  The plan was for my family (and I) to attend my elder brother's graduation ceremony but because we bought our tickets before the graduation date is confirmed, it turned out that the graduation would be on Sunday and we already purchased our return tickets on Saturday. Despite the trip being extremely exhausting, things did not go as planned, and we ended up not doing what we intended to do for the trip (attending the graduation) it was nevertheless a fulfilling one for me.