When Silence Is No Longer Golden

 Hi readers, it's been a while, as usual. And of course, I didn't (or haven't) finish my supposed multi-part story of my Thailand trip! I want to say I apologize, but then I'm not even sure if anyone is still reading this nowadays (even I don't read things in here after I posted it) so maybe there's no point to apologize since I'd be apologizing to no one lol. But anyway, another post, another melancholic(-ish) story! But don't worry, I try not to pity myself too much (I'm not in that mental state anyway, or so I think). Not sure if I shared this in my Thailand story post, but I kinda made a "wish", an "intention", to have a fruitful retreat, which happened and more, but unfortunately I'm too lazy to write it down to share here. But anyway (and also unfortunately), this post is not about that. Even though I did wish to have a fruitful retreat, not gonna lie that it took me a while to make up my mind on that wish - and one thin...

Hi readers! A few months have passed since my last post again and this time I have a big announcement: I've finally broken my single streak! In case you readers are wondering, it's her  :D. It's indeed a great news, but the things that is in my mind right now is not so great... Not sure if it was obvious, but she's not actually based in the same country as me. She took the initiative to make the first visit, which I think made sense since she has more things to do here than me there. Also, I still wasn't sure about the relationship at the time so her visiting me instead of the other way round means less investment on my side Selfish, I know, but even ignoring that fact, she still has other benefits to gain from visiting me anyway, such as meeting up with friends and family, enjoying Asian food, etc. In any case, I really appreciate the sacrifice she made for me, so I reciprocated in kind and made sure she enjoyed her time here (and when we parted, she said she ...

Hi readers! It's been quite a while again since the last post (about a month). And just like I said in the comment of my last post, nothing really happens between us afterwards. It was probably my fault for not being there for her, but the difference in timezone at that time was really going to affect my work if we were to keep up our same routine when we were only 2-3 timezones away. Anyway, she's taken so that's probably for the best. Today's post wasn't supposed to be about her. It's about what I felt every time during this time of the year. What's with around this time of the year, you ask? It's the Vesak season, you uneducated moron (jk, I understand Buddhism doesn't get as much love in the "west" compared to other Asian religions. Funny that I used the word "west";  she was always so worked up every time I used the word to generalize cultures that are not "Asian"). Anyway, I digressed. Around this time of th...

So a friend who I knew from my internship in Sydney a couple of years ago came over to Singapore for the whole week last week. She said she did that because the tickets were very expensive if she was to fly back to Sydney right after the long weekend (it was the long weekend Easter holiday, and Sydney had the Friday and Monday off). For some reason, we ended up practically dating for the whole week. So it all started a few weeks leading up to her vacation to these parts. For some reason she messaged me almost every day in the different platforms where we are connected (there were just two basically, but for some reason we jumped back and forth between the two platforms depending on the time of the day). We were initially just talking about work stuff mostly, and some personal, but still work-related stuff like how I kept going back to the office on weekends ( :'( ) and how her rating during the last performance review was below her expectation (it was actually fine... But she...

Hi readers. I'm doing better now so please don't worry about me (if there is any readers left at this point, that is). For those who are out of the loop, simple check out my previous post , where I threw a textual tantrum about how I was lonely and desperate and stuff. I am not *that* depressed anymore, though I'm still sad by the fact that I didn't get to make full use of my teenage years to avoid the state of mind I'm in right now. But that's beside the point of what I wanted to write about in this post. Or actually it is, since technically it is inside my mind, and thus it overflows. Or maybe not really. I'm rambling. Moving on. So basically yeah, I'm doing much better now. I just decided to accept that fact and try to improve myself. Just a little update on what happened last weekend; I actually made a "dana" to a "bhante"!! (that's "donation" and "Buddhist monk/venerable" to you plebs. Jk, I meant non...

In merely a couple of days or so, another year is going to end soon. This would be the second time I am spending my new year overseas; the first one being the first year I was in Singapore - 2008. Damn I still remember how it was... We were playing some group game in the hostel and the game ended with a countdown to 2009. That was friggin 7 years ago. Damn, how time flies! And now I am most probably going to spend it playing another group game or singing at a KTV with a bunch of people from that Buddhist society. In case you guys are wondering why I don't go to some other place to watch fireworks, because I heard there is no fireworks during new year in China. (Say whaat?) I just realized (before writing this post) that this blog, despite already spending 2 new years, only contains one "obligatory new year post". I am not sure what happened to me during that year (or rather, this year!), but from reading the last post before the new year , apparently I was occupied w...

Hi readers! In a blink of an eye, it's already mid-December; more than a month after my previous post, and less than a month before my departure to Singapore. How time flies indeed... Especially when you busy making the most out of the days you have left here in China. Today was an especially fulfilling one.

Hi readers! Didn't realize it has been a month since the last time I posted! Actually there has been a lot of things happening in between (actually just the past 2 weeks had been pretty intense, the other 2 weeks were pretty boring). Just as a preview, I went to Xi'An with "the girl from the summer trip" (here onwards will be referred to as "the girl") and some bull crap happened during (or rather, after) that trip. But that's a story for another post (don't worry, this time I MOST LIKELY will post it since I already wrote the hard copy during the train ride back to Beijing). Also, last Thursday, I just experienced the first snow in my life! And it was a pretty one at that! (the rather thick kind, doesn't make you drenced if it falls on you, and can be used to build snowman and throw snowballs). Those two are not going to be about that trip, however. Just a few days ago, a monk from Indonesia came over to Beijing to celebrate Kathina with the ...

Another post because of something bothered me quite greatly today. Just a short update before going into what I wanted to write, work has been rather stressful the last few days (partly because I promised to finish something too early), and I am currently addicted to Fallout 3. It's a game from Bethesda, with open-world gameplay similar to Skyrim (more like the other way round because Fallout 3 came first but whatever..) but set in a post-apocalyptic world. This kind of game addiction has always been affecting my sleeping pattern so I hope this one will go away soon :/. So today a friend of mine just tipped me about the thing I have been aspiring to do: doing something for the government of my home country. As it turns out, some people have started an initiative to do so at  code4nation.org . Basically it is a platform for developers to discuss about (open source? not sure yet) projects that can be used to help Indonesian government. The help can be in any aspect, may it be trans...

Hi readers! Surprise surprise, I updated my blog the week following my previous post! Obviously, there's something in my mind that I can't contain and have to pour out somewhere. Well, what would it be today? Actually, there is nothing much. I just feel that my day this Sunday is rather... extraordinary? Firstly, this Sunday the speaker (a Bhante) in the vihara I visit delivered his talk in Chinese...!! I was actually rather glad; in fact I've been welcoming any opportunity to improve my Chinese, impromptu or not. It got even better: there is an informal English translator (just one of the Dayakha there) so I can check if what I understood was correct. For me, it was an extremely unique and interesting opportunity to have. From the talk, I also learned a few interesting things. For background story, let me elaborate to you what the talk was about. It was basically about the night the Buddha achieved enlightenment. The night was generally divided into three, (disclaimer:...