When Silence Is No Longer Golden

 Whew, last night was quite an emotional roller coaster! I'm happy that my life direction so far has brought me enough mindful awareness not to wallow in that self pity too much and attempted to move the mind towards something more peaceful/wholesome (though the level of success still leaves something to be desired). I need to maintain the perspective that getting to know a girl is not about making the girl likes you - it's about knowing each other well and assess the compatibility, though I must say currently it's not quite that simple. It's currently about a choice - whether I want to take the risk and put myself in an uncomfortable but exciting situation or.. take a slower and gradual approach. The risk-taking approach is obviously by getting to know this new girl better even more, while trying not to lose myself into trying to fit in too much. The slower and gradual approach would be... to find someone else who fits my current personality and tendencies more. I got

 Hi readers! Didn't expect to have been writing for 8 years now (or is it only that I've been writing this new year post 8 times?). I long for the day when I will never update this blog again because my life finally goes the way I want it to be (if you all notice, I usually write about the times when life goes against me). That being said, I have not updated the blog for more than half a year, but that didn't mean my life went swimmingly in those 7 months. In fact, I think it was quite a turbulent one (though obviously not as turbulent as, you know, 2-3 years ago...) Last I posted here was "Of Squandering My Blessings...", which I'm sure is about how I messed up my relationship with the girl where I hit it off right off the bat (in the chat, not even in the first meet up!) And now I'm in the juncture where I might be doing the same, though the situation is much different. Well, similar in some ways but different in others. It's similar as last time in

 Hi readers, it's been a while, as usual. And of course, I didn't (or haven't) finish my supposed multi-part story of my Thailand trip! I want to say I apologize, but then I'm not even sure if anyone is still reading this nowadays (even I don't read things in here after I posted it) so maybe there's no point to apologize since I'd be apologizing to no one lol. But anyway, another post, another melancholic(-ish) story! But don't worry, I try not to pity myself too much (I'm not in that mental state anyway, or so I think). Not sure if I shared this in my Thailand story post, but I kinda made a "wish", an "intention", to have a fruitful retreat, which happened and more, but unfortunately I'm too lazy to write it down to share here. But anyway (and also unfortunately), this post is not about that. Even though I did wish to have a fruitful retreat, not gonna lie that it took me a while to make up my mind on that wish - and one thin

 Hi readers! Finally another post! I promise this time is not going to be melancholic! This post will be about a trip that I recently undertook, a trip of a lifetime (so far). I travelled solo in Thailand for a week! I learned so much from this trip, I hope I woud at least be able to write half of it, because I know I will lose some of them on the course of writing it, simply because the writing won't flow if I try to stuff all the learnings in, not to mention me forgetting it since it's been a week... This trip was initiated by a friend, a colleague who used to work in the same office, but she moved to Germany recently. I don't really recall how it went exactly, but she just kinda spontaneously asked a few of us (a small group of friends she hung out with when she's still in Singapore) if we're free in December to travel around Thailand. I was like, doh! I'll make the time! When else would you be able to get to travel to a country in which you don't speak t

 Hello readers, it's me again (who else can it be). Here with another edition of obligatory new year post! I'm writing this right on the new year's day for the very first time! Actually it's just because I just finished showering and waiting for my hair to dry (my parents always say not to sleep with wet hair as it can cause rheumatism or something). So this is going to be a quick one, without references to any of the previous editions of obligatory new year post, since I don't really want to sleep too late and I believe the last edition is the very sad edition, and I don't really want to make myself sad right now. I think in all the previous editions of obligatory new year post, I've always made some sort of grading of resolution from the previous year and writing new ones for the upcoming year. Since I don't really want to read the previous year's obligatory new year post, I'm not going to do that and just going to do a quick reflection of how

 Hi readers! Another non-sensical post coming up (I'll trymy best to make it sensible). I'm not very sure where to start. I guess we can start from the information that I've been seeing a therapist/counsellor/psychologist/whatever other names these people have. I started going around April or May I think, and have been going about once a month for 3 times before a hiatus due to a business trip to the US (that's another story all together that I don't think I'll write about here anytime soon, tough luck :p), and have just started going again this month. The story happened on the second time I went this month, which was yesterday. The counsellor's office/meet-up place is in the Clarke Quay area. After my session ended at around 5.30pm, I was deciding where and what to eat for dinner. As I was deliberating, I walked towards the MRT, and decided to check out the river area, because what could be a better place for someone who just finished a therapy session for

 Hi readers! It has again been a looong while! Almost a year! Something shook my brain. Just a quick catch-up, between my last post and now, there's nothing much happened really. I've been basically living on survival mode, and I kinda made an attempt to fix that by going to counsellor starting in.... around April I think. It's the OTOT kind of counselling (not sure if that's the common kind, I had the impression that it's meant to be a regular thing). I've only gone about 3 times, and nothing much has changed so far. Maybe I should pick up the pace and schedule more sessions over shorter period... But anyway the reason I wrote this is something I talked about earlier this afternoon/evening with a friend. I decided not to put a backlink to them just in case there are people who know who's who reading this... Anyway we've just returned from a trip to the US (different trips). For some reason, this trip left some impression on me, about how.... free living

 Hello again, can't believe I'd end up writing about this thing here again, but here goes... So I've been really anxious for the past few days. Like really anxious - I'm feeling tightness in my chest, uneasiness in my stomach, lower appetite, scattered thoughts, the usual anxiety stuff... And it's all because of a catch up session with her . I've never really wrote about how I feel about her. Honestly I'm not even sure. She's definitely very beautiful and it's always nice to have a pretty girlfriend. That aside, I recalled that what attracted me the most to her is how good of a listener she was, and how she's able to understand what I went through at the time. I always felt great after our meet up, and we'd talk about all our problems and worries. Things change along the way. I'm not really sure from when exactly, but there was a period when I was almost certain that she was kinda into me, but at the same time I know she was also being pu

Hi readers! One post later and it's just 3 months away from a supposedly another obligatory new year post! Not to worry - regular (LOL) readers would know that no news means good news when it comes to me writing blogposts. So yes, I'm in a much better place than wherever I was when I posted the previous post (I'm too lazy and tired to open and read it, and anyway I would forget what I wanted to write in this post if I do). So why do I write this post? It's just a mind-dump, really. There are a lot of things happening recently and many of them are fighting for air time in my mind. Let me just dump it now to satisfy them. 1. Completing PR formalities. Yeah, so I finally got my PR. Not sure if I ever shared about it in this blog before but I waited for 1.5 years for this. Actually I shouldn't really say I "wait" for this since I wasn't really hoping that I'd get it, in fact I don't care about it at all. But the approval came anyway so I should act