When Silence Is No Longer Golden

In merely a couple of days or so, another year is going to end soon. This would be the second time I am spending my new year overseas; the first one being the first year I was in Singapore - 2008. Damn I still remember how it was... We were playing some group game in the hostel and the game ended with a countdown to 2009. That was friggin 7 years ago. Damn, how time flies! And now I am most probably going to spend it playing another group game or singing at a KTV with a bunch of people from that Buddhist society. In case you guys are wondering why I don't go to some other place to watch fireworks, because I heard there is no fireworks during new year in China. (Say whaat?) I just realized (before writing this post) that this blog, despite already spending 2 new years, only contains one "obligatory new year post". I am not sure what happened to me during that year (or rather, this year!), but from reading the last post before the new year , apparently I was occupied w

Hi readers! In a blink of an eye, it's already mid-December; more than a month after my previous post, and less than a month before my departure to Singapore. How time flies indeed... Especially when you busy making the most out of the days you have left here in China. Today was an especially fulfilling one.

This is just a rewrite of a reflection I wrote on my scrapbook about my trip to Xi'An with that girl from the summer trip  on the train ride back to Beijing, with a little addition at the start (for introduction) and at the end (for closing/conclusion). Minor modifications are done to conceal names and make things clearer. (her) is actually her name in the original script. Things inside the square braces are added during the rewrite and was not in the original script. #############

Hi readers! Didn't realize it has been a month since the last time I posted! Actually there has been a lot of things happening in between (actually just the past 2 weeks had been pretty intense, the other 2 weeks were pretty boring). Just as a preview, I went to Xi'An with "the girl from the summer trip" (here onwards will be referred to as "the girl") and some bull crap happened during (or rather, after) that trip. But that's a story for another post (don't worry, this time I MOST LIKELY will post it since I already wrote the hard copy during the train ride back to Beijing). Also, last Thursday, I just experienced the first snow in my life! And it was a pretty one at that! (the rather thick kind, doesn't make you drenced if it falls on you, and can be used to build snowman and throw snowballs). Those two are not going to be about that trip, however. Just a few days ago, a monk from Indonesia came over to Beijing to celebrate Kathina with the

Hi readers! Has it been quite some time since the last time I posted (as usual)? Though it was only about 1 month, it feels like ages ago. You all will see why shortly. So just to keep you all readers up to speed, after my last post, school starts and I might have made some irrational/bad decisions regarding my modules, which, despite not jeopardizing my workload on other semesters to graduate on time, will evoke certain kinds of judgements towards me. Thing is, I dropped a course in favour of a Chinese class whose credit I cannot transfer back to my home university, and I started off with few coursesin the first place so by dropping that particular course, I am now in a position of only mapping 3 courses out of the supposedly 5 courses per semester (according to NUS standard). However, as it turned out one of the courses I managed to map supposed to be mapped to a higher level course in NUS whose pre-requisite I have not met, and thus I feel like dropping it too. However, if I drop

Hi readers! Finally I have some time to myself again, after all the reports and settling down and everything (actually I have not really settled everything but I have done what I can do for now). Just a few updates, I am still in good terms with the girl :) though to be honest I am not very sure if our relationship can go anywhere (if we decide to take it further at all). I mean, my English is not exactly fluent; I often find myself at a loss of words, more often than I like. Moreover, Singaporeans speak much faster than many native English-speaking people in the world, which makes my "loss-of-word" moment much more pronounced. I also find it hard to express certain things to her, which I think will be a problem if we decide to take the relationship to the next level. Regardless of how this relationship will develop, I would be forever thankful to her for, directly or indirectly, teaching me lessons about relationship. For example, now I understand what people mean when they

Oh my goodness... So many things happening in the past few days that my pace of writing cannot catch up with how fast things move the last few days... So anyway just to update you readers (if any), I have reached Beijing in one piece, and I am in good terms with that girl I wrote about in the previous post. So good in fact, it ends up becoming an intense heart exercise to my poor heart who had been void of strong emotions for the past few years. I had written so many drafts about many things that is happening in the past few weeks, but I am currently juggling between starting on my report (for 2 MC, scholarship provider, etc), getting to know new people (both Singaporeans and Indonesian, and maybe neighbors), settling down in Beijing and the Tsinghua dorm, and settling administrative things... It was crazy. I really don't have much time to just sit in front of my laptop thinking about life like what I used to do back in NUS lol. And then there is this girl from the summer trip.

Omg. It was just 3 days away from a seemingly innocent post and now I am already writing about some melancholy post again sigh.... But I really need to pour it somewhere to someone I can trust/somewhere nobody would find but I can feel that I have shared it with someone. So there is this girl in the summer trip. She is a NUS business student. Doesn't look very pretty but she is very cute. She is going to be my travel partner to Beijing before I can check in to the dorm (maybe). I fell for her on the first sight. Other guys turn out to be much more alpha than me. I missed a lot of opportunities to flirt with her. (Not that I am good with flirting in the first place). I got some cues that she is trying to avoid me. My brain says ok but my heart was in denial. It was such a painful afternoon, Luckily we went back to hotel early. I could not sleep or do anything at all. I tried to get to my laptop and do some simple coding but I simply could not concentrate.

Hi readers! It was exactly a month ago since the last time I posted something on this blog! I'm surprised it was not longer, it feels like forever ago now that I'm overseas. So yeah PSA (public service announcement) first: I am currently in Suzhou, China! (Actually you would have known already from the title but yeah) So I am here early for a summer programme in Suzhou, which will span for almost 3 weeks. There will be industrial visits to some companies such as Asus, Alibaba (the ones I'm interested in) and some other less renowned companies (the ones I'm not interested in), as well as cultural visits to various places around Suzhou such as Tiger Hill, Humble Administrator's Garden, and some traditional streets like 平江路 and 山塘街. I have been keeping a diary of each day's events, especially if something really urged me to pour the things inside my mind. It is going to be an interesting post (at least parts of it) so stay tuned! Most probably I will post it at th

Hi everyone (or anyone lol)! This is such a rare occasion when I write a post on a fine Saturday noon before lunch. Well, the problem is, I actually intended to write this piece last night, but I was too absorbed into this game called "Outwitters" that I was too tired to write when I realized how long I have spent on the game. For those who are interested, Outwitters is a turn-based strategy game (the FFT/Might and Magic kind of game) on mobile. You can get it on AppStore/PlayStore for free. It's pretty fun! (why am I advertising this game now...) Again, that was not the main point of this post. The past few weeks were the commencement ceremonies for the various courses' graduating students of the year. I was not invited by anyone (not that I know many people 2 years my seniors but yeah) so I did not attend any of those. However, the coverage, whether I like it or not, would pop up in my Facebook news feed so I more or less got into the loop as well. Some of

Another post because of something bothered me quite greatly today. Just a short update before going into what I wanted to write, work has been rather stressful the last few days (partly because I promised to finish something too early), and I am currently addicted to Fallout 3. It's a game from Bethesda, with open-world gameplay similar to Skyrim (more like the other way round because Fallout 3 came first but whatever..) but set in a post-apocalyptic world. This kind of game addiction has always been affecting my sleeping pattern so I hope this one will go away soon :/. So today a friend of mine just tipped me about the thing I have been aspiring to do: doing something for the government of my home country. As it turns out, some people have started an initiative to do so at  code4nation.org . Basically it is a platform for developers to discuss about (open source? not sure yet) projects that can be used to help Indonesian government. The help can be in any aspect, may it be trans

Hi readers! Surprise surprise, I updated my blog the week following my previous post! Obviously, there's something in my mind that I can't contain and have to pour out somewhere. Well, what would it be today? Actually, there is nothing much. I just feel that my day this Sunday is rather... extraordinary? Firstly, this Sunday the speaker (a Bhante) in the vihara I visit delivered his talk in Chinese...!! I was actually rather glad; in fact I've been welcoming any opportunity to improve my Chinese, impromptu or not. It got even better: there is an informal English translator (just one of the Dayakha there) so I can check if what I understood was correct. For me, it was an extremely unique and interesting opportunity to have. From the talk, I also learned a few interesting things. For background story, let me elaborate to you what the talk was about. It was basically about the night the Buddha achieved enlightenment. The night was generally divided into three, (disclaimer:

Hi readers! Another very long hiatus, uh? Sorry about that, I am trying to make myself more active in the various activities I participated in. I would have thought I have not blogged for the whole semester if I did not actually check my last post (well, at least it was not THAT bad!). That article must have hit home so hard that I was compelled to post it right then. Anyway, just to keep you all readers (if any) updated, I got an internal offer from NUS for an exchange to Tsinghua University, China , is currently interning (though it feels more like 'working') at Optimai for the summer. Do I miss anything? Those are the important ones anyway. So why do I decide to update this blog now? Well... I have wanted to update my blog since forever, but I just haven't got the time to do so yet. I guess my effort to make myself more active is quite successful, then? Haha. Actually, it was partly because I am currently hosting (more like squatting) a friend in my room for the summe

Hi readers! I hope I have not left this blog for too long this time round? I did again, didn't I? *okay* Anyway, This is one of the few times when I write not in the wee hours of night, because there is something that I strongly feel need to be shared. Ever heard of this thing called The Imposter Syndrome? It is a condition where you tried to be someone you're not because of peer pressure, social expectation etc. I am sure many of you readers (if there are readers at all? Hello?) have encountered a situation where you are expected to know/do something because of a label attached to you. For example, if you are a computer science student, you are kinda expected to know how to fix all sort of computer's problem, pick a side in the battle between PC and Mac, Android and iOS, etc. That is not a very good example for some of us, so I shall just refer you to the site where I read it from. The Imposter Syndrome If you have not read it yet, I suggest you should. Other than th