The Imposter Syndrome: When Being Yourself Is Hard

Hi readers! I hope I have not left this blog for too long this time round? I did again, didn't I? *okay* Anyway, This is one of the few times when I write not in the wee hours of night, because there is something that I strongly feel need to be shared.

Ever heard of this thing called The Imposter Syndrome? It is a condition where you tried to be someone you're not because of peer pressure, social expectation etc. I am sure many of you readers (if there are readers at all? Hello?) have encountered a situation where you are expected to know/do something because of a label attached to you. For example, if you are a computer science student, you are kinda expected to know how to fix all sort of computer's problem, pick a side in the battle between PC and Mac, Android and iOS, etc. That is not a very good example for some of us, so I shall just refer you to the site where I read it from.

The Imposter Syndrome

If you have not read it yet, I suggest you should. Other than the fact that the article is really good, it is also because the following paragraphs will be my reflection on that article.

Okay so yeah, even though that article claims/asserts that it is more prominent among females in the IT field, I must say that it may not be true. For one, I actually think that I have that syndrome too. Now that I reflect on it, I was an imposter in so many different occasion: At times I pretend to be interested in soccer (I used to, now not anymore), to understand certain things when I actually don't (especially when talking about computing terms with non-computing people), to be interested in some things I am actually not etc.... Just like what the article allude to us, it made me feel that I do not even know myself sometimes. At times, I even doubt the degree that I am currently pursuing. Do I really like Computer Science, or am I just trying to live up to other people's expectation of me?

Anyway, I should end my blog post here for now, as I have something on the next morning. Just some updates about my life (to those who care), I am taking 7 modules this semester (most likely will drop 1 or 2 along the way), and teaching one module (just supervising lab session). 2 weekends ago I got on the third place in a CTF competition (Capture The Flag, in the context of computer security. Go and Google it) and won a $20 worth of Steam wallet voucher. Today I went to the vihara and was stuck there for the whole afternoon because we (my friend and I) were "invited" to help out in the vihara's spring cleaning and to my surprise, my friend agreed without skipping a beat! To be honest, it leads us to get to know more people in the vihara; not only the Indonesians, but also the people from the Youth group. I do not know if I am honestly glad that it all happened, but I guess we shall see in the weeks to come. Oh and I will be going back to my home country for Chinese New Year! The plane ticket was luckily not too expensive for such a period (just IDR 780k - one way to Jakarta). Lastly, I have just finished my exchange application. My preference list includes UBC (Canada), U of Auckland (NZ), HKUST (HK), Victoria U of Wellington (NZ) and Tsinghua U (China). PM me if you want to inquire more about my choices. (If there are any readers, that is)

Yeah, so I guess that is all from me for now, see you on the next post, whenever that might be! Oh and all the best in your life's endeavour, hopefully the post I shared above can be useful to you, as it is useful to me! =D

PS. If you notice, "all the best in your life's endeavour" is supposedly my closing remark for all my posts, but I have honestly totally forgotten about it. (See last paragraph of this post).

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