A Reflection on My Xi'An Trip + Post Trip Incident
This is just a rewrite of a reflection I wrote on my scrapbook about my trip to Xi'An with that girl from the summer trip on the train ride back to Beijing, with a little addition at the start (for introduction) and at the end (for closing/conclusion). Minor modifications are done to conceal names and make things clearer. (her) is actually her name in the original script. Things inside the square braces are added during the rewrite and was not in the original script.
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So I've been travelling with (her) for 2 times already. One was in 南京 and 北京, and second is in 西安. From these two trips I've learnt some things about her and about me as well.
In my opinion, she's another person living a very contradictary life, just like me. Very bashful but yet can quickly trust a stranger. Very thrifty and yet always try to be accommodating to people who spends unreasonably. Not willing to touch my things and get her things touched by me but yet doesn't mind strangers to touch her stuff. Do not want to sit beside me (or let me sit beside her) and prefer to sit with strangers (eg this very moment). Unwilling to share umbrella with me even when she's going to be drenched. Anti-foreign stuff (I assumed due to mysophobia) but wear her shoes that was drenched by rain to the shower! Avoid talking to me but still willing to travel with me @_@. It was so frustrating to try to accommodate her needs and wants!!
Even after travelling with her twice, I still can't wrap my head around her contradictory behaviour. Not that I could justify my weird behaviours, but... Hers is of a different level (in my opinion). A lot of times I was very sure that she really hates my guts but the next moment she sort of proven me wrong (or so I thought). Really confused ____ [illegible lol].So glad I did not end up confessing* to her, because it was going to mess my otherwise peaceful and enjoyable exchange so far.
Having said that, I'm still curious why she's doing whatever she's doing to me. Wonder if it's just because of her personality, or because she's got feelings for me or whatever... Or it could also be she's afraid I have feelings for her, and thus try to make me turned off by her. Arrghhh women are really weird and ______ [illegible].
The next question. Should I travel again with her after the semester ends? I had almost decided not to at one point during our trip in 西安 until she made me reconsider my decision again....
To be honest, I do not really enjoy her company. She is not interested in whatever I have to say, cannot help to lift up the mood, doesn't want to plan trips, even when that's the place she wanted to go to!! @_@ Such a pain in the ***, really. (No, she's not a guy and didn't do anal to me) [damn what the heck I was writing about lol]
I really miss travelling with my bros. The ones I went to 泰国 [Thailand] with. It was one of the most enjoyable trip I had in years! It could be better if only we actually went out somewhere instead of slacking in the room, but I'm not complaining lel. Damn I really miss them!
Anyway, back to (her). What makes me keep coming back to her? The slight hope that she might have feelings for me? The savings I will achieve? ($$$) [what I meant was "the money that I could save?" because she is thrifty as hell] Or the fact that she's unlike any Singaporeans, that she waits patiently for me to finish my sentences, especially the Chinese ones? I really don't know. If I were to be extremely honest, I think it's the $$$. It's realy hard to find people that earnestly willing to save money like I do. However, I feel the extend that she saves is really over the limit. I mean she even suggested that we WALK around the 城墙 [Xi'An ancient city wall] (to which I agreed for $$$) and was REALLY concerned about whether all the places we want to go to is reachable on foot. It was crazy. The worst part is she is not doing it herself!! So many demands then 你自己做啊！But I did it anyway because having that power of controlling my own expenses [compare to my 内蒙古/Inner Mongolia trip] was quite... Liberating? Empowering? I'm not sure myself but it was a positive feeling.
[The following paragraph was written quite a while after the previous one]
And then she lied to me again. She's got a power bank.** Actually I know why she lied. She just doesn't want to lend it to me. What a weird b**ch.
* I meant to confess sometime after the we reached Beijing and I settled down in my dorm, but I decided not to because I still had some doubts at that time, and I glad I did.
** Before the trip, I asked if she has a power bank because the phone battery will not be enough to endure the train ride + the travelling before we check into our hostels and got access to power plugs, but she claimed that she doesn't have any.
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I hope that was clear enough and I hope I did not ramble too much there. Anyway a day or two after the trip another bull crap happened. She texted me a link to a discounted pair of gloves in 京东 (JD, a China online shop website) and told me to get it to save some money. Because I was too lazy to read all the Chinese characters in the online shop, I decided to ignore it. However, about half an hour later, I received an SMS containing the OTP to register for a JD account. Initially I ignored it but soon I put the two and two together and confronted her about it. In case you readers still don't get it, she used my phone number to register for JD account. And it was not the first time she did it. I remembered receiving a similar SMS out of nowhere but I decide to delete it because I thought it was a scam or something. Initially she tried to deny it but after a short while she indirectly admitted that she did it, but she would not say why. She just said that I would not believe whatever she's going to tell me. I had enough of that (that was not the first time she spewed out that excuse too) and had a mini burst out, saying how much effort I have put in to open up to her, hoping that she would do the same. But all she wrote as a reply is that it is not something that she wants to go around and tells everybody about. Still something that I can't accept but still I relented. We have not talked again since.
I shall end it here, for now. I don't wish to break ties with her, but if she continues being that way, it is really too exhausting to maintain the friendship so I will not have any more of it. It is not worth it.
All the best in your future endeavours.
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So I've been travelling with (her) for 2 times already. One was in 南京 and 北京, and second is in 西安. From these two trips I've learnt some things about her and about me as well.
In my opinion, she's another person living a very contradictary life, just like me. Very bashful but yet can quickly trust a stranger. Very thrifty and yet always try to be accommodating to people who spends unreasonably. Not willing to touch my things and get her things touched by me but yet doesn't mind strangers to touch her stuff. Do not want to sit beside me (or let me sit beside her) and prefer to sit with strangers (eg this very moment). Unwilling to share umbrella with me even when she's going to be drenched. Anti-foreign stuff (I assumed due to mysophobia) but wear her shoes that was drenched by rain to the shower! Avoid talking to me but still willing to travel with me @_@. It was so frustrating to try to accommodate her needs and wants!!
Even after travelling with her twice, I still can't wrap my head around her contradictory behaviour. Not that I could justify my weird behaviours, but... Hers is of a different level (in my opinion). A lot of times I was very sure that she really hates my guts but the next moment she sort of proven me wrong (or so I thought). Really confused ____ [illegible lol].So glad I did not end up confessing* to her, because it was going to mess my otherwise peaceful and enjoyable exchange so far.
Having said that, I'm still curious why she's doing whatever she's doing to me. Wonder if it's just because of her personality, or because she's got feelings for me or whatever... Or it could also be she's afraid I have feelings for her, and thus try to make me turned off by her. Arrghhh women are really weird and ______ [illegible].
The next question. Should I travel again with her after the semester ends? I had almost decided not to at one point during our trip in 西安 until she made me reconsider my decision again....
To be honest, I do not really enjoy her company. She is not interested in whatever I have to say, cannot help to lift up the mood, doesn't want to plan trips, even when that's the place she wanted to go to!! @_@ Such a pain in the ***, really. (No, she's not a guy and didn't do anal to me) [damn what the heck I was writing about lol]
I really miss travelling with my bros. The ones I went to 泰国 [Thailand] with. It was one of the most enjoyable trip I had in years! It could be better if only we actually went out somewhere instead of slacking in the room, but I'm not complaining lel. Damn I really miss them!
Anyway, back to (her). What makes me keep coming back to her? The slight hope that she might have feelings for me? The savings I will achieve? ($$$) [what I meant was "the money that I could save?" because she is thrifty as hell] Or the fact that she's unlike any Singaporeans, that she waits patiently for me to finish my sentences, especially the Chinese ones? I really don't know. If I were to be extremely honest, I think it's the $$$. It's realy hard to find people that earnestly willing to save money like I do. However, I feel the extend that she saves is really over the limit. I mean she even suggested that we WALK around the 城墙 [Xi'An ancient city wall] (to which I agreed for $$$) and was REALLY concerned about whether all the places we want to go to is reachable on foot. It was crazy. The worst part is she is not doing it herself!! So many demands then 你自己做啊！But I did it anyway because having that power of controlling my own expenses [compare to my 内蒙古/Inner Mongolia trip] was quite... Liberating? Empowering? I'm not sure myself but it was a positive feeling.
[The following paragraph was written quite a while after the previous one]
And then she lied to me again. She's got a power bank.** Actually I know why she lied. She just doesn't want to lend it to me. What a weird b**ch.
* I meant to confess sometime after the we reached Beijing and I settled down in my dorm, but I decided not to because I still had some doubts at that time, and I glad I did.
** Before the trip, I asked if she has a power bank because the phone battery will not be enough to endure the train ride + the travelling before we check into our hostels and got access to power plugs, but she claimed that she doesn't have any.
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#############
I hope that was clear enough and I hope I did not ramble too much there. Anyway a day or two after the trip another bull crap happened. She texted me a link to a discounted pair of gloves in 京东 (JD, a China online shop website) and told me to get it to save some money. Because I was too lazy to read all the Chinese characters in the online shop, I decided to ignore it. However, about half an hour later, I received an SMS containing the OTP to register for a JD account. Initially I ignored it but soon I put the two and two together and confronted her about it. In case you readers still don't get it, she used my phone number to register for JD account. And it was not the first time she did it. I remembered receiving a similar SMS out of nowhere but I decide to delete it because I thought it was a scam or something. Initially she tried to deny it but after a short while she indirectly admitted that she did it, but she would not say why. She just said that I would not believe whatever she's going to tell me. I had enough of that (that was not the first time she spewed out that excuse too) and had a mini burst out, saying how much effort I have put in to open up to her, hoping that she would do the same. But all she wrote as a reply is that it is not something that she wants to go around and tells everybody about. Still something that I can't accept but still I relented. We have not talked again since.
I shall end it here, for now. I don't wish to break ties with her, but if she continues being that way, it is really too exhausting to maintain the friendship so I will not have any more of it. It is not worth it.
All the best in your future endeavours.
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