When Silence Is No Longer Golden

Hi readers! Quite a (relatively short) hiatus! I'm just back from a (kinda) long trip! Went to Jakarta to help out in a company event for university students, and then followed by my first ever visit to India, Chennai! Nothing much worth writing happened during those trip so I'm just gonna mention it here just so that I don't forget that these trips happened lol. The main reason I write this is to again, investigate what caused me to be in the state I am now. Currently I'm trying to better understand what is "wrong" with me. Here are the things that I think is "wrong" with me: 1. I have difficulty remembering details about some experiences and only remember what I "feel". The girl from  this post  also has the same issue which alarmed me. For example, say now I'm going to tell you about both my Jakarta and Chennai trip. I would say that in Jakarta I had fun hosting the event, but I can't remember/tell why it was the case. T

Hi readers! Another day another post! Better be grateful while it lasts! Went to temple today. No one there. No one as in no one that I'd be happy to see. No, I'm not talking about her in particular. Well, she is one of the people that I'd be happy to see there, but I was actually just talking about any friends I can talk to in general. In the afternoon I met up with another girl who is actually a match from another dating app. Not for a date, but more for dating advice so to speak lol. The story is that she has just started to try to commit more to another guy, and I respected her decision since she has already been seeing him for 6 months. It was quite an interesting chat with her (rather an awkward one too). Learned that I'm not actually the worst of dates. Some random dude out there actually asked someone out for a date at MacDonald's! So if you're a guy and you think you're bad at dating, don't worry, there's always the MacDonald's guy

Hi again reader(s?). So many posts the last few days, yeah? In the past I would say that this is a good thing but now... not so much. I met up with a friend, who, for some reason, I became close to out of a sudden. Probably due to situation. But anyway met up with her and chat up a bit. Okay, for the benefit of readers who don't know what I'm talking about, and for my future reference, I should write a little more about this girl. Met her in university. Nice girl, seemed to be able to connect with a lot of people easily. After a while, I realized she might be onto something. As in, something's not really right whenever I asked her about how "popular" she is. Today I found out that I was right; that she's been going through something similar to what I've been going through, but worse. Anyway, initially I wished to talk about dating stuff, since I felt that she has established implicitly (but strongly) that she sees me as just friend, or "bro"

The weekend has just passed and I don't feel refreshed at all.. I think this is the first weekend in a while when I don't really have any major happening. Last week there was Cakka , the previous week was my third date with her , I believe... And the previous week was the weekend when one of my housemate initiated a house outing for my sake. So I guess it has been at least a month since I first started trying to change . I tried to write down what I think so far, as well as how I feel about finally having the weekend free from it, and I can't seem to formulate it at all... Like when I tried to do it, they just don't flow. It feels that there is a contradiction somewhere that either I don't know, or I simply refuse to acknowledge. Is it because I don't like the change? My mind resisting the change? The weeks when the weekend was filled with activities and plans leave me tired at the end of the week. I'm not sure if I felt contented, but I *think* at the

Hi readers! What a long week it has been... And finally I have the weekend all for myself!!! (for the most part...) Few updates. Believe it or not, the girl from this post is still willing to go out with me!! I have no idea why she'd want that... I feel that I have been a terrible date (or even by just-friend standard) so far... I was late for our first proper date (not a meetup just because she happens to be in the area) and again today... And I'm not sure how I did, but I think I still suck at keeping up with her as in the previous dates... :cry: :cry: A little trivia update, I was just interviewed by Transferwise people because they wanted to do a promotional video for their Asian market. Friendly bunch, but I was too preoccupied for the date in the evening, I didn't even get to ask the questions I wanted to ask, or even properly thank them for their awesome product :'((((( OR TO EVEN ACTUALLY DOCUMENT IT BY TAKING SELFIE OR WHATEVER. FUCK I'M GETTING