The Confused Ones
Hi readers.
Just (really literally just now) talked to her over the phone. I "confronted" her about our mock dates last week, and she insisted that she didn't mean to lead me on or whatever by whatever we did together then. I accepted her explanation but yet she told me that she felt overwhelmed by me questioning her like that. Not sure what she meant by that exactly; I tried to be as gentle as possible but probably not quite gentle enough.
Things got a little awkward shortly after, but for some reason we continued to talk and we managed to get back to our previous level of comfort.
She consciously tried to stop herself from sharing her relationship problem with me, but I think she just couldn't take it and started sharing some of her recent issues with her bf. I'm really surprised when she told me that she's been putting on a mask trying to please her bf's expectation of her. This shocks me especially because I thought if a couple is together, they're basically comfortable in their own skin and they have accepted each other's differences and love each other for who they are. Apparently not true for all relationships.... And this kinda also reminds me of my date attempt with her. I'm not sure if I have ever written about it before, but I stopped seeing her for a while already now. I wasn't sure why at the time, but I just felt really tired every time I talked to her. She told me that it might be because I was trying to be someone I'm not, by trying to make myself like someone that I think she'll like. As what I'd soon found out, it is simply unsustainable.
As we chatted more into the night, she seemed to keep trying stopping herself from saying something to me. But as the night dragged on, she finally relented and told me the sentence she's been dying to say but tried not to: "I wish I like you."
This is, again, so confusing to me. Just at the start of the call she convinced me that she doesn't have any feelings for me, and yet as the night dragged on, she kept on stopping herself from saying that. And we finally ended our call with her saying that we should stop talking otherwise "she can't stop herself anymore" (freely translated - not implying whatever you had in mind). Which I suppose mean she won't be able to stop herself from falling for me.
I actually tried to end the call much earlier, fearing that I might be treading on a thin line of breaking other people's relationship but she said she wanted me to stay on the line so I did. Now I'm getting confused again....
The title is dedicated to both her and I, the confused ones.
All the best in your endeavours.
Just (really literally just now) talked to her over the phone. I "confronted" her about our mock dates last week, and she insisted that she didn't mean to lead me on or whatever by whatever we did together then. I accepted her explanation but yet she told me that she felt overwhelmed by me questioning her like that. Not sure what she meant by that exactly; I tried to be as gentle as possible but probably not quite gentle enough.
Things got a little awkward shortly after, but for some reason we continued to talk and we managed to get back to our previous level of comfort.
She consciously tried to stop herself from sharing her relationship problem with me, but I think she just couldn't take it and started sharing some of her recent issues with her bf. I'm really surprised when she told me that she's been putting on a mask trying to please her bf's expectation of her. This shocks me especially because I thought if a couple is together, they're basically comfortable in their own skin and they have accepted each other's differences and love each other for who they are. Apparently not true for all relationships.... And this kinda also reminds me of my date attempt with her. I'm not sure if I have ever written about it before, but I stopped seeing her for a while already now. I wasn't sure why at the time, but I just felt really tired every time I talked to her. She told me that it might be because I was trying to be someone I'm not, by trying to make myself like someone that I think she'll like. As what I'd soon found out, it is simply unsustainable.
As we chatted more into the night, she seemed to keep trying stopping herself from saying something to me. But as the night dragged on, she finally relented and told me the sentence she's been dying to say but tried not to: "I wish I like you."
This is, again, so confusing to me. Just at the start of the call she convinced me that she doesn't have any feelings for me, and yet as the night dragged on, she kept on stopping herself from saying that. And we finally ended our call with her saying that we should stop talking otherwise "she can't stop herself anymore" (freely translated - not implying whatever you had in mind). Which I suppose mean she won't be able to stop herself from falling for me.
I actually tried to end the call much earlier, fearing that I might be treading on a thin line of breaking other people's relationship but she said she wanted me to stay on the line so I did. Now I'm getting confused again....
The title is dedicated to both her and I, the confused ones.
All the best in your endeavours.
Hi I enjoy reading your blog! It has really given me an insight to life in NUS. Can you post more stories about your relationship with this girl? It is really interesting and we want to find out more about the two of you :)
ReplyDeleteNot sure how you could get any insight to life in NUS when I hardly write about the typical life of an NUS student here, especially nowadays but... Glad that you at least enjoy reading them :D.
DeleteI write only when I feel like doing it, not by request, sorry about that haha. But stay tuned, you never know what's going to happen to my story with her (probably nothing since she always points out the fact that she has a bf and she often jokingly says "be grateful that we don't date because xxx").
And don't hope too much since in general I write only 12 posts on average every year, so probably what will happen is I will disappear and reappear in a month or two with a whole new different story :p