When Silence Is No Longer Golden

Hi readers, today turned out to be a very heavy day for my heart. Today was supposedly the day I plugged off from daily life and tried to learn as much as possible about Dhamma from this forum called Cakka (not sure how long the link is going to be up). Turned out to be the day I got bombarded with hard, cold truths of reality, and seems like some stupid conflict on top of it too... So started the day and the event started at 9. Came late and needed to embarrass myself to find where the people I'm signing up with were sitting (I don't have to but decided to do it since it might be awkward for them, I signed up with 2 other friends who don't know one another). FYI, one of them was her . Cutting the story short, I found out she is taken. Actually, she told me that she is. I didn't let myself skip a single beat, maintained my poise and managed to say an as-normal-as-possible "congrats". Followed by some questions that *I* think a normal frie

Hi readers! Lots of updates in the past few days, huh? I guess I just happened to be having a rather happening week. A few interesting stuff for my future self to look back (and maybe for readers who know me personally and want to know the stuff that has been happening in my life), in brief: I just met one of my matches the second time earlier this week. So I met up with that girl from the previous post again on Monday, since she happened to be in the area in the evening. This time round she's more free so I had the chance to bring her around the office and talked more about ourselves. I learned and gained a lot of insights about many things. For one, that I might be more of an asshole than I thought I am. I kept putting labels on her like "foreigner", "American", all kinds of things (not necessarily super offensive, but still kinda weird and unbecoming of me. She kindly reminded me how that's something that people shouldn't be saying time and

Just wanted to record this down so that when I look back through the blog archives, I knew that this happened. The person on that anti-mainstream dating app I mentioned in the previous post turned out to be visiting Google for a talk last night! I decided to be YOLO and met up with her despite the lack of preparation (not that I have anything much to prepare). It's too bad that my English sucks so bad now; I couldn't keep up with how fast she spoke, though luckily I always managed to get the gist of it. I think she might have noticed that I am the kind of guy who can't keep a conversation going and somehow she managed to order an Uber right under my nose without me realizing it (or maybe she ordered it when she went to the washroom, hmmm) and ran away from the scene lol. Anyway she told me that her friends are waiting for her in a bar to celebrate her birthday (I forgot to wish her directly too... I only wished her in the chat). Just to let my future self refresh his m

Hi readers. I'm doing better now so please don't worry about me (if there is any readers left at this point, that is). For those who are out of the loop, simple check out my previous post , where I threw a textual tantrum about how I was lonely and desperate and stuff. I am not *that* depressed anymore, though I'm still sad by the fact that I didn't get to make full use of my teenage years to avoid the state of mind I'm in right now. But that's beside the point of what I wanted to write about in this post. Or actually it is, since technically it is inside my mind, and thus it overflows. Or maybe not really. I'm rambling. Moving on. So basically yeah, I'm doing much better now. I just decided to accept that fact and try to improve myself. Just a little update on what happened last weekend; I actually made a "dana" to a "bhante"!! (that's "donation" and "Buddhist monk/venerable" to you plebs. Jk, I meant non