Turbulent Times

NOTE: this entry was published on 8 Sept, but was meant to be published on 27 July. For some reason blogger allows backdating your post timestamp, which is nice.

Hi readers! Again, a long time since my last post... Actually I wanted to post earlier this month but yeah... Laziness, procrastination, life, etc got in the way (excuses, excuses)... If only I managed to get that one out, the tone of that post would've been much more positive.. (Implies this one is gonna be negative. Get ready for it, readers!)

Before we got into the main thing, a few updates. The post I wanted to write earlier this month was actually about my busy-ness as batman for my brother's wedding (yes I know it's bestman but I like the sound of batman better) and other stuff in between, but this would have to do for now, since I'm no longer in the mood to finish that one, for another major thing in my life has taken over. Also, tomorrow I'm gonna attend a friend's wedding. Yeah, the wedding season of people in my generation has started. Just gonna get worse here on out (until a certain point, of course).

I'm not sure how many times I've complained about my work here; probably never? Well, of course, because why would I complain about working for the best company in the world to work in, right? Like everything in life, those words are never the whole story. Or at least not in my case. But I'm not here to complain about my manager (I couldn't say much since he also never said much lol, but she would complain endlessly about him, if you're interested).

My team just got re-org'ed! This is something that my company is quite infamous for internally, we engineers even have a term for it (which for some reason is not used enough in Singapore): defragged. For most people, this is a nightmare because their career path would be affected adversely. To be precise, their current contributions to their current (previous-to-be) team would simply disappear if they're not at the prime time to go for promotion (there's more nuances about when is a good time to go for promotion and how to get there, but I shall not delve further lest this becomes yet another one of those Medium posts from ex-Googler complaining about Google promo process fairness). For me? I shall summarize my feelings like how I answer people when they ask me how I feel about the reorg: mixed feelings.

On one hand, I'm happy at the chance of getting rid of my current manager. Also, I must say that my current team is not the best team to work with too. I mean there are great people, but there are a few not-so-great people as well. I'm mostly sticking around just because I don't know how to bring the topic of moving away to my less-than-ideal manager, and that "maybe if I just stick around long enough until I get my promotion...." mentality. On the other hand, starting in a whole new team means a huge drop in productivity since I'd need to get to know the tech stack used, the code base, the people... everything, which means I'd need to delay my promotion even longer than I'm already doing (2/4 people admitted in my batch already got promoted last cycle, and the other one who hasn't gotten promoted is under the same manager as I do lol) Talking around to other managers around made me feel really sad that I didn't realize much earlier how lousy my manager is and how different it could've been if I were not under him... But then again I might not have been in Google if not for him (he picked me from the pool of incoming intern converts, methinks.. But I don't know. He never opens up about even remotely sensitive issues like this). I also probably wouldn't be this close to her as well, for better or for worse...

Anyway it's late, though I still have things to talk about. But I guess they're not that important in the grand scheme of things (what is, anyway?) I shall close it here for now.

All the best in your life's endeavors.

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