Yet Another Unfulfilling Holiday(?)

Hi readers! Firstly I apologize for abandoning this blog for 3 months! The first month was due to me being busy with schoolwork (it being my last semester as an undergrad and stuff). The next month was due to me being busy having fun traveling a bit (grad trip hype woots). And the last month was due to me being lazy... Sigh.

It is now nearing the end of my very last long break before I start working for real. It seems that I didn't see the importance of making it *really* counts, despite it being my very last holiday as a student. I did fill it with some interesting things in the first few weeks as you can tell from the summary of my last 3 months in the first paragraph, however after I was back from those trips, I am back to the same old me, lazing about in my house doing nothing much but eat, sleep, and play.

Did I do whatever I can to make it counts? Is it money that held me back from doing more? Or simply my laziness?

Looking at my bank account right now, it seems that money is one factor that held me back from making the most out of this precious last break. I am left with less than S$100 now (my financial advisor will be very proud of me). However, much of it was spent for rent of my new house (2-month-rent's worth of deposit, plus another month's rent for the coming month) and booking of AirBnB for my family when they come to Singapore for my graduation.

Also, in hindsight, actually I should have attempted to reconnect with my old contacts here in my home country while I'm here. Usually I made excuses to myself, saying that I don't have enough time, they are busy and all those BS, but now I really don't have any excuse but to say, that I am not that keen on doing that. I know I should but it is too late now. Fortunately, I actually met up with a group of friends (whom I knew from this camp). It went OK but not that great. I wished I had met up with more friends while I'm here!

I also thought of going for a meditation retreat during this break because I knew I won't have the leisure of time once I start working. My brother actually signed up for a 10-day meditation retreat and I passed the opportunity, saying that I had a project that I should work on! I really do have a project I promised my friend that I'd work on, but as it turned out, I only started doing real work on it only very recently. Going for that retreat wouldn't have made much difference, if any at all.

Time really flies even when you thought you have plenty of it. One second I just finished my 3 weeks long grad trip and the next I am here right now at the end of it all. The break that should have counted. The break that could have been.

Sometimes I wonder if it is just my mind being so negative about everything that happened and if I should look at the bright side more. However, I am scared that if I do, I will become too complacent (and I feel that I already am) and I wouldn't do anything to change it. Not that I actually do anything about it now...

That is all for now, for it is already late. All the best in our life's endeavours!

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