Hot, Sleepless Night

Hi readers (if any)! To make up for the big gaps in between my last few posts, I am currently trying to post more often! (No, actually I am writing this now because I cannot sleep because the weather is freaking HOT!) Reason for this post aside, I do have some things in mind that I would like to share to the readers (again, if any) and of course, myself. (Sharing thoughts to yourself? Just what the hell does that even mean?)

So yeah, it is Saturday night. Just watched Spiderman 2, it was pretty cool and all. But that is not the point of my post tonight (then why bother writing it?) I have been missing Sunday service (I am a Buddhist by the way) for the last couple of.... months, I guess? Anyway, it feels really odd not to attend Sunday service for this long. I guess that is what an old habit does to you when you grow up. (I have always been going to Sunday service every Sunday when I was little). Again, it is not the point of the post.

I suddenly remembered, for no reason, a talk I had with a certain someone that I wish is studying here (it's a guy, so don't get the wrong idea! And even though it's a guy, don't get the wrong idea either!) Anyway, the talk was something about... uhh I don't really know how to put it... Some sort of psychological thing, I guess? Anyway, it went something like, he would ask me questions that seems to have nothing to do with anything, but it may be a reflection of my current thoughts. I do not know if I should elaborate everything here, but I guess I should, for my future self's sake. Here are the questions as far as I can remember:

Imagine the following in your mind:

1. You are in a house. It is your house. How big is it?

My answer: pretty big I guess... I was imagining something like a mansion, but not as big as Batman's or Xaverius' one, it is like half or one-third of it or so.

2. You decided to leave the house. On your way, you realize you are actually with someone. Who is he/she?

My answer: No one. (He allows that answer when I hesitated)

3. You somehow end up in a forest. In the forest, you saw an animal. What is the animal you see?

My answer: A deer. A majestic one, at that.

4. What is your response when you see the animal?

My answer: I just stared at it. Something like admiring it.

5. You continue walking, and you encountered a building. How big is the building?

My answer: same as the first one (now I am confused whether I remember this correctly. How many times did he ask me about the house again?)

6. You entered the house. There are food on the table. How much are there?

My answer: not much. Like a couple of plate or two of dim sums?

7. You realized that there is/are people in the house. How many are there?

My answer: I can't remember my answer for this one. Should be something like 1-3 people.

8. You decided to leave the house, and continue walking. You encountered a body of water. What is it? How big?

My answer: A lake. Pretty big one at that.

9. You need to get to the other side. How would you do that?

My answer: go around it.

And based on my answers, people can basically infer what I have in mind. Below is the explanation. I purposely put the questions and the meaning separately so you guys can't cheat haha. (Actually, it is more for my future self)

1 (and 5?). It represents how big your ambition is. (Well, shit. My ambition is pretty big, I guess)

2. He/she is the person you trust the most. (F_ck. I trust nobody. My friend at that time must be heartbroken or something when I answered nobody.)

3. The size of the animal represents the "size" of the problem you are currently having. (The size of a deer? I don't believe it. When I answered the question, I was thinking that the animal is related to something I wish to see/achieve or something)

4. What you do with the animal is what you do with your current problems. (Just stare at it? Now it does seem about right...)

6. Represents the amount of happiness I have, if I'm not wrong. (Just a couple of dim sum? Seems about right too)

7. The number of people in the house represents the number of people I usually surround myself with. (Indeed, I don't like to mingle with too many people).

8. The size of the body of water represents how badly you want a commitment/relationship (can't remember which, or maybe it is both. They can mean the same thing anyway)

9. The way you cross the body of water is how you treat your commitment/relationship. (Walking around it? Does it mean avoiding it? Now that seems about right too... Regardless whether it means commitment/relationship/same)

Well, because I am getting really tired now, I shall stop here. Hopefully this line of questions can help some of you readers to understand yourself better, just like it helped me to understand myself better. However, understanding yourself better is just the first step to "fixing" yourself, if you like the term. You need other people's help to do that. Which is why I wish the person who asked me this to be studying here. So he can be my support in improving myself. To motivate me to go Sunday service more often. To motivate me to join more activities, which I have been trying to avoid. And most importantly, to motivate me to be a better person everyday.

Thank you for reading. Sorry for the melancholy post (again). Actually I am not really depressed, just feel like writing it now because I have the time and have nothing else to say. Good bye and good luck in your life's endeavours! =D

PS: I think I am going to use "Good luck in your life's endeavours" as my closing remark for most, if not all my posts from now on. It sounds pretty encouraging, don't you think?